Beauty in the Rearview

As my car slowed around the bend, I peered into my mirror, searching through the haze. And then I saw them, the majestic Alpilles, veiled in a curtain of wispy fog and clouds. Snow crested, far off and strong these mountains had been here all along. It seems so often, however, that I notice them for the first time as I go home. It seems, sometimes, as though the entire day has been simply a string of events to accomplish, agenda items to check off the list in the most efficient manner possible. Here I am, in the most calm, laid-back place on earth. The South of France where it seems no one works, where people just eat and drink and be merry. And yet, old habits die hard, I suppose. I am an American, with an American work ethic and an American set of ideals and a tendency towards American efficiency. So yesterday, when we awoke to 60 degrees and beautiful sunshine, it became my goal to take advantage of such a perfect situation to accomplish as much possible.

We headed to Les Baux, a nearby village set atop cliffs and perched over an amazing valley. We got stopped, however, barely out of the front door. Our new 'neighbors' introduced themselves and we proceeded to spend the better part of 30 minutes conversing about travels, adventures and various destinations across the world. I hid my anxiety and eagerness to get out on the road, I hid my misguided goal-seeking mindset and smiled and nodded and chatted. So with that slow start I already felt 'behind,' as though at the end of the day I would be graded and these precious minutes, 'wasted' in our driveway, would bring me from an A to an A-. On our way out of St. Remy we decided to stop at the Glanum Ruins, a site birthed way before Christ. A sweet little dog became Whitney's friend and I felt, for whatever unusual, unfounded and downright wrong reason, that this little pup was an annoyance. We had things to do, museums to visit, ruins to explore and our day to get on with. We had no time to stop and pet a dog for five seconds! No way! So I hustled us across the street, paid our entrance and wandered through the ruins, stopping long enough to get a quick history and an idea of the territory. Glanum Ruins? Check! Now, off to our next destination. Winding through the roads leading to Les Baux, we both realized the increased amount of traffic since our last visit. Apparently we weren't the only tourists in France to be enjoying the weather. So pulling through the parking lot, attempting to avoid the German tour groups and the kids munching fresh caramels, I pessimistically searched for a spot. Getting into the city, I suddenly felt disoriented. I didn't know why we were there. I had seen this village three time previously, been in every shop at least twice and taken in the views from the cliffs more times than I had needed. So what was I doing here?, I so efficiently asked myself. I am among the throngs of men whose top leisure activity is not shopping. And so when, for the third time, Whitney decided to go into the cicadas shop and smell every one of the 29 soap flavors, I was moving from disoriented to impatient. Again, here I was, with complete freedom of schedule, of destination, of time, and yet I was wondering why we were still here and wondering how many more sites we could tick off before the sun set in two hours.

While I improved over the next hour, disciplining myself for my mindset and vowing to take it a little easier in the future, I had successfully squandered two hours of what could have been such an amazing day. And then there we were again, back in the car, rushing around the final corner before Mas Dagan and I looked into the rearview. The Alpilles were still there, reminding me, chiding me, to not miss the beauty again, to see each day and each moment as something valuable. To see each challenge as an opportunity to learn, each interaction as a chance to love and each task as a moment to be a little less efficient.